[wannabe badboy]

Hi,

First of all I'd like to apoligise for invading your space here, I know this is a forum for women, but I'm hoping you can provide me with some much needed advice. Last week I discovered my wife is bulimic. Obviously I'm concerned for her well being, and also disappointed in myself that I never even saw the signs.

I'm doing my best to help her, with what little knowledge I know (I'm reading about the subject as much as possible to help her as best I can), but I'm aware that se will probably need more professional help. For as long as I've known her she has always been on a diet of some sort, and despite my efforts to make her see she also needs to exercise, she does very little.

I doubt you will be able to provide me with any assistance where the bulimia is concerned, but I was hoping you could give some advice on a suitable diet for her to follow and a basic exercise routine that can get he into the swing of things. The crazy thing about this is that she's only about 28ibs above her target weight, yet she see's herself in a totally different light.

Any advice you could offer would be greatly appreciated by this concerned husband and father.

Once again, sorry if I have caused any offense by coming here...it was not intended.

[wannabe badboy]

I should never have posted this...what I have said has come out all wrong, probably giving the impression I force her to be this way. What a mess...

[Mrs. Shoulders]

I've Been A Member Of This Forum For Some Time .....i Usually Only Read....the Ladies Here Know A Great Deal So I'm Sure Someone Can Help You With Some Suggestions......as For You Being Sorry For Sharing Your Problem....don't Be...... I Think It's Great That You Are Looking To Help Your Wife In Whatever Way You Can......i Want To Encourage You In That......the Only Bad Question Is One Not Asked.....i Hope You And Your Wife Well......don't Stop Trying To Help And Support Her......in My Prayers......mrs. Shoulders

[Effie_drine]

Bulimia Nervosa


Bulimia is an emotional disorder characterized by episodes of binge eating followed by some form of purging or restriction. Binges are the secretive, rapid consumption of high-caloric foods over a discrete period of time. Most bulimics follow the binge by self-induced vomiting. However, "purging" may take the form of laxative or diuretic abuse, fasting, or strenuous exercising. This binge-purge cycle is normally accompanied by self- deprecating thoughts, depressed mood, and an awareness that the eating behavior is abnormal and out of control.

Bulimia is a method of "weight control" rather than "weight loss." Most individuals suffering from this disorder are frequent dieters but remain within a normal weight range. Food takes on a symbolic meaning for the bulimia, and the binge-purge cycle may be an outlet for feelings of frustration, disappointment, anger, loneliness, and boredom. Bulimics turn to food in an attempt to cope with life stresses. Bulimia may be accompanied by other impulsive behaviors such as shoplifting and/or alcohol and drug abuse.

Most individuals with this disorder are women, though bulimia has been diagnosed in men. Researchers estimate that as many as 20-30% of college-age women may display bulimic behaviors. Bulimia tends to develop in late adolescence and early adulthood. Bulimics may have been previously anorexic or display symptoms of anorexia nervosa simultaneously.


Eating Disorders Warning Signs

Exhibit concern about their weight and make attempts to control weight by diet, vomiting or laxative and diuretic abuse.

Eating pattern may alternate between binges and fasts

Most are secretive about binges and vomiting

Food consumed during a binge has a high caloric content

Majority of individuals are within a normal weight some may be slightly underweight or overweight

Depressive moods and self-deprecating thoughts following a binge



Some Physical Problems Associated With Eating Disorders
Cessation of menstruation

Chronic kidney problems

Irregular heart rhythms

Irritation and tears in the esophagus

Parotid gland swelling (under jawline)

Erosion of tooth enamel and increased cavities

Electrolyte imbalance

Low potassium

Lightheadedness and dizziness or fainting

Sensitivity to cold

Dry skin and thinning scalp hair

Stomach and intestinal problems

Growth of lanugo (fine hair on body surface)

Mortality rate is 5-15% (lower with treatment)


How To Help The Person With An Eating Disorder


If you are close to someone who you suspect has an eating disorder:

Collect information. Find treatment resources, such as your local Mental Health Association or school system. Get help from support personnel.

In a caring and nonjudgmental way, tell the person what you have observed (anorexic or bulimic behavior) and suggest they seek appropriate physical and psychological assessment

If the person is a minor, discuss your observations with their parents (check your community's laws and regulations).

If the individual and/or the parents deny there is a problem, consult with supervisors, treatment resources, children's services, or National Eating Disorders Association for what to do next.

As the person begins treatment, be natural and caring, but do not discuss eating, weight, or appearance. Do not insist that the person eat or change attitudes.
__________________
I hope this may help you a little.

If she is only about 28lbs over her wanted weight. This weight loss would be easily attained by exercise. You may want to suggest that maybe she could take a walk with you at night, or maybe look into getting a couples membership at your local gym.

But the one thing she is looking for the most. Is for you to tell her YOU think she is beautiful, and that YOU love her for her. NOT the SIZE of her body

[wannabe badboy]

Mrs Shoulders and Effie_drine,

Thank you both so much for taking the time to read and reply to my post, it is very much appreciated. Things are rather difficult right now. She refuses to consider any professional help and I am concerned that she is purging while our ten month old daughter is also at home with her. Obviously I have great concerns for my wife, but under no circumstances do I want my daughter growing up in this kind of environment where continuous dieting and puging are seen as 'normal' and acceptable things to do.

I love my wife and make sure she knows that, I also tell her how beautiful she is, but anyone who knows anything about bulimia will know that it doesn't matter what other poeple say or think, it's her own opinion of her self image that counts to her, nothing else, which makes this extremely difficult.

As for the exercise, both working full time and having a baby daughter doesn't make exercise particularly easy, especially when we don't have anyone to baby sit, but know this, I am doing all I can to help her, I'm just so pleased that you guys have taken the time to reply to my post. I was convinced no-one would touch it with a bargepost. For that I am truely grateful.

Kind regards

Wannabe Badboy

[Naughty Nurse]

I have been involved with bulimic patients, and it certainly can be very frustrating...it is so hard to try to understand why they are doing it when we don't see any reason for them to. This is not going to be easy for her to stop, as it has probably been long standing. Just keep supporting her, bravo for you being so patient and understanding. She should seek help, with you as well. Her health is at risk.

[rachy27]

I commend you for trying to help, but please don't push her to go on a diet or exercise. I know from experience that if you have an eating disorder the last thing you need is someone encouraging you to exercise or eat better. The best thing you can do for her and your daughter is to continue to try to get her to seek help! But like other people said, support is huge!

[kittykat2]

From What i know about bulimia It has to do with control. The person feels a lack of control in life therfore she controls what she puts into her body by taking it out of her body, by making herself sick. I suggest you give your support but let your wife take responsability for herself don't try to fix her problems for her, you can not fix another person. Just be supportive and talk to a therapist that specializes in this area. I don't think it is a good idea for you to try and create a food and diet program for her. It will make her feel.....well let's just say it might create a bad dynamic between you and your wife. Of course that is just my opininon.